I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
