Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize