You can't motorboat a personality
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize