Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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