MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
