sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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