It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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