508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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