2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
