roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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