gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
