And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
