Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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