We're like a lot better than the average bears
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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