ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
