the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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