You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
