Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
