I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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