I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize