I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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