Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
