but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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