your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
