she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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