When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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