lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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