Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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