The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
