I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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