I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
