Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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