i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize