she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How naked do you want me to be?
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