thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
