I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize