butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?