My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.