HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!