how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Barsexuality is the new black.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
