We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
