3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
