You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
