Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
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I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
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