Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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