I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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