Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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