hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
