How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is wine microwaveable?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
