Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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