her vagine was all disorganized.
it was like eating out sand paper
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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