wat bout pragnant strippers??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
