i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
