You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
