She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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