Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
