well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
