I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
