Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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