Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Scho_nuff hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

Fav 28 3133 2253
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

Fav 16 949 3873
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

Fav 7 2065 3897
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well

Fav 7 1408 3844
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fav 3 2449 920
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

Fav 5 2132 740
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(559): View more from California

I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

Fav 9 2488 962
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time

Fav 1 942 556
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?

Fav 0 81 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT