There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
